Leaders represent the organization to their teams through their values and direct presence. They represent the organization to their seniors through conveying the spirit of the overall organization. They represent the organization to outsiders through their interactions in which the attitude of the organization is assumed to be the attitude of the leader communicating on behalf of it.

Is it any surprise that leaders and their skills at being with people are so crucial to the well being of the organization?

I’ll share two recent examples:

We received two calls from two organizations to conduct waterfall rappelling for their employees. We got both the jobs, but how they panned out was vastly different.

The first call that resulted in a rappelling session on the 26th of July began with a position of false images and mistrust. While we said the standard stuff to both leaders who approached us, this leader treated us like we had an obligation to do everything he asked for (and not particularly politely either). They bargained on the price, they didn’t want to make advance payments to book their trip, they didn’t know how many people would do the rappelling but expected us to quote, they did not trust us to deliver, called us over to collect payments, but interrogated us and sent us back without any commitment, changed locations, shuffled communication among themselves without conveying the negotiations that had happened, expected us to drop everything and come back yet again when called, yet they wanted us to conduct their outing and wanted guarantees of enjoyment.

All this before there was any certainty of getting the job from a client who had become a pain before even becoming a client. Only a barest hold on manners stopped us from cutting negotiations short and refusing to work with them. We had actually reached a point where we wondered if they would ask us to pay for the privilege of conducting rappelling for them, and Raka outright lost his temper and asked them to either trust what they were getting into, or call the whole thing off, at which point, they stopped the suspicious .

The other call was from Rohit, from TCS. He carefully asked for all kinds of information and provided us with a tentative date. They had problems with the budget, but asked us for suggestions on how to bring it down rather than demand we provide everything at the price they want. All through, the conversation was about designing and pulling through the best possible and cost effective expereince for their team. Rohit courteous, confident, inquiring, adding valuable detail to the planning and made every effort to complete their side of the negotiations and planning efficiently to ensure an excellent trip.

Just before the programme, he provided contacts of two other people from his team to ensure fail proof communication, and while we received just one email and call from one of them, it was clear that the communication between us had been conveyed to them, the trust had been conveyed, and he was also fully prepared to expect the best and get it.

No points for guessing which group went back happy after the trip.

The first group continued the pattern throughout their trip, making demands, changing the schedule to demand a hike before the rappelling, leaving insufficient time for the activity, and finally abandoning the activity and instructors at location and walking out without informing everyone (taking along an instructor’s backpack that was kept with the group while the instructors set up the rappelling). What’s more, they made calls after the trip demanding a refund for the activity they refused to do after booking it and attending the session. Needless to say, we didn’t refund them anything, but we didn’t have that warm, happy glow of a job well done either.

The second group did their waterfall rappelling yesterday. About twice the number of people planning to do the activity got tempted and did it at the last moment resulting in lunch being delayed by a couple of hours. Everyone was excited by the waterfall rappelling, and most of the group did it. Rohit called back after reaching home to enthusiastically share how everyone had a fantastic time and he still was getting messages thanking him for an outstanding day. I was well beyond “warm glow of satisfaction” – I shared the contents of that call and my joy with my in-laws for a solid 10 minutes after the call.

Guess which company made a better impression about its working values and maturity? The one that walked in expecting to be fleeced and kept expecting it at every turn no matter how much we bent to reassure them, or the company that walked in fully expecting to have an outstanding outing, and went ahead and got exactly that? Incidentally, both organizations paid exactly the same amount of money to us.

We are providers. We are not required to marry our clients. Happy clients come back, unhappy clients don’t and life goes on. We are free to refuse to work again with anyone we weren’t happy with, and free to invite work from the ones we love working with.

Yet, what does it mean for the organization that one simple picnic turns into such a melodrama? What does it mean when the plans engage participants far more than expected? Both spent time and money. What did each get out of it? What did they tell the world about themselves? What did it do to each set of employees who went out expecting to have a good time, and an exciting adventure experience?

I felt sad when I got an email from an employee of the first organization (that didn’t do rappelling) three days ago, when I shared photos of another waterfall rappelling trip. The woman was inquiring as an individual about upcoming rappelling opportunities with us in the future. Here they had paid for a chance and wrecked it up, and here were the employees thirsting for an experience they should have got.

When we are alive to our role as a leader, we influence factors that lead to results we want. We trust, because we know we aren’t insignificant enough for people to be trifling with us. When we are constantly defending our power as a leader, we alienate the ones we could engage for desirable outcomes. We expect to be fleeced or treasured, because somewhere hidden in our hearts we believe it is what we deserve happening to us.

Needless to say, what we expect shapes our responses to everything we encounter, and we make our expectations come true.